This is truly a family treasure. The night of 11/27 I watched a birth video with Aaron. He was upset to learn that he will not be allowed in the room during baby sister’s delivery and he doesn’t want to miss anything. I thought that maybe I could show him about how baby sister will come out and explain that the delivery room can be crowded and busy, and that after she comes out and is all cleaned up, then he would be able to come visit. He is such a smart, curious guy, and although I didn’t show him anything especially disturbing, it was the whole delivery, and he did ask a lot of questions :) He was really into it, loved to learn about it, and when the video was over he asked Chris, “Daddy, are you going to help Mommy hold her leg and brush her hair back?” It was such a sweet thing to share with him and I hope that learning more about the process helps him feel more at ease. Knowledge is power.
The next day at school, Aaron drew this picture. Adorable, and yet graphic as only a child can express.
In the middle is a bed, with me on it, and baby sister next to me, see how she is little? My legs are up (wow, Aaron, great detail, and there is some blood on the bed.) The other brown person is “Daddy, helping Mommy and holding a leg” and the green person on the other side of the bed is “the doctor with his doctor hat on.” Finally, at the foot of the bed, is a very happy Aaron. “I can be there because baby sister is already out.”
It breaks my heart to think of this picture now. I still have it, and I will always keep it, but I haven’t thought about it in a couple of weeks and even though it is really hard, I have to remember how it warmed our hearts when he described this picture when we picked him up from school that day. That story will always be special even though Mara is not with us today. Another one of the many dimensions of our horrible loss is the excitement Aaron felt for his baby sister’s arrival and all the ways he expressed that. Everything about this is hard and sad.
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